Flat Black Volvo V70 Wagon Murdered Out

Wagons are the most gangster cars on the planet.  If you're going to do some bootlegging, either booze in the bad old days of prohibition or weed in the bad current days of prohibition, you need extra space that a sedan can't provide.  You also need to avoid notice, which this flat black Volvo V70 would if it were bombing down a country road at night with no headlights on, using night vision goggles if you're a wealthy smuggler or piloting by the light of the moon and pure manliness if you're working on your first million.

I have no idea how to tell the V70R from the standard V70, but I can hope that this is a V70R with the turbo 2.5 liter five cylinder that makes 300 horsepower and has all-wheel drive and an optional stick shift, because that makes me want it more.  That would also go a long way towards making this murdered out Volvo V70 the best smuggling car ever.

Even lowered and tucking wheel, the flat black V70 has enough ground clearance that it won't scrape on most speed bumps or bad roads, so it looks nasty as hell but it's still practical.

Porsche 911 GT2 996 Murdered Out

The 911 GT2 might be the most badass, hardcore 911 ever.  The GT2 uses the Turbo's engine with rear wheel drive instead of that pussy AWD shit.  Prove you're a real man and put down 475-hp with just the rear wheels.  With an 11.9 second quarter mile time and a 200-mph top speed, not much will outrun the 996 GT2 stock.  And not many people will spot you when you murder out the 911 GT2 in flat black.  Though the yellow brake calipers do kind of give this GT2 away.

Flat Black Lamborghini Murcielago Murdered Out

Batman drives a Lamborghini Murcielago.  That makes it the coolest car ever.  Behind the Batmobile of course.  Nothing is cooler than the Batmobile.  A Flat Black Murcielago murdered out is close.  Even closer when it's got some badass aero that looks like it would probably do wonders on a race course (or racing to Wayne manor before my two supermodel girlfriends sober up and rethink their thoughts on blueberry pies during sex).

E60 BMW M5 Murdered Out Flat Black

The M5 is one of the greatest cars ever.  More comfortable and useful than the M3, but still with the performance to challenge the best sports cars available as competition.  The M5 was also the chariot of choice for Alex Ross when he broke the NY to LA cross country record.

There's something so awesome about a big comfy 4 door sedan that has 500 horsepower, like the E60 M5 does. So the M5 is a badass car, made even more badass by the stealth flat black murdered out look.

The M5 also looks badass in the black and blue paint job, and while the contrast is nice looking I'm still more of a fan of the murdered out look.

Rauh Welt Nissan 240 SX Silvia S15 Murdered Out

It turns out the Rauh Welt, the crazy Porsche builders, actually build other things, like this S15 Silvia shown here in flat black murdered out looking sexy.  I actually think this car looks better than their Porsches, maybe because it's more sedate and seems like they were actually trying to make it look good, rather than just wild.

 

Murdered Out Mercedes-Benz CLK DTM Convertible

The Mercedes-Benz CLK DTM is one of the sickest cars ever.  It's a race car for the streets which automatically makes you a badass just for having the balls to drive it.  Juan Pablo Montoya has one.  It has 582-hp and a 200-mph top speed.  If that's not enough, they also built a convertible version, so you have the added badassness of nothing protecting your head when you inevitably flip it.  If you thought it couldn't get any better, someone murdered out their CLK DTM, which makes them my hero.

Murdered Out Mercedes-Benz CLS With Satin Black Paint

The Mercedes-Benz CLS is one of the best looking cars you could buy in the last ten years.  Styling that is both beautiful and groundbreaking is a rarity, normally the cars that start trends like the Bangle BMW 7-Series with flame surfacing have something about them that makes them repugnant, like the ass end of the Bangle BMW 7-Series.  They're usually the automotive equivalent of butterfaces. Or butterbutts.  The CLS is nothing like that.  Pure sex.  It's like when I first saw Tyra Banks in a Victoria's Secret ad and realized black women could be sexy (hey I was like 12 and grew up in a very whitewashed town, I can remember being excited about going to the mall because it meant I'd get to see people with different skin colors besides pale and Italian).

So of course the CLS, the sexiest car around, looks great murdered out in satin black.

I'd still take Tyra Banks from this angle any day.

Murdered Out Flat Black Ferrari F430

I have to confess, for all my love of murdered out cars and their stealthiness and sexiness, I also love bright flashy cars.  It's kind of the yin and yang of  car colors, you need the contrast. A better analogy might be to liken my car color preference to the 1991 Kurt Russel epic Backdraft, where Robert DeNiro's character tells Billy Baldwin's that you need to love the fire a little bit.  You have to appreciate flashiness to really appreciate stealth.

A Hyundai Tiburon never deserves to be bright yellow but a Lamborghini does.  A Kia Rio in red is abhorrent, but a Ferrari in red is appropriate.  That's why when those supercars, which are normally unfortunately used just as bling for rich people looking to show off that they can buy it, rather than that they can use it, are murdered out in flat black like this Ferrari F430, it's such a beautiful thing.

Murdered out FJ Cruiser Video

Absolutely awesome looking FJ Cruiser completely murdered out.  Here's the description from the uploader:

This is a Toyota FJ Cruiser that a few guys at my job just finished. It has a 6" Pro Comp suspension lift with adjustable coil overs and a 1 inch body lift. The tires are 39.5 x 13.50 - 17LT IROCs. I hope you like it. Thanks for watching.

I don't give a shit if this is a total mall crawler and some douche with a chin strap and a flat bill will be using it to cruise for butterfaces on his college campus while skipping classes since he's majoring in entrepreneurship.  It's an FJ Cruiser, a car built to look like one that was utilitarian when it was sold 50 years ago.  It's a total bro car anyway so who cares if it isn't built for maximum articulation.

Rockabilly Chevy S10

I love rockabilly style cars with white wall tires and red wheels for exactly opposite reasons of my love for murdered out cars.  Where a blacked out car is menacing and beautiful, when you decide to go rockabilly style with a car you're saying 'I know this car doesn't look good, so I'll just make it look silly.' It's like Rabbit's rap in 8 mile, you can't make fun of someone if they just did it themselves.

Mazda RX-7 Murdered Out on Gunmetal Wheels

This FD RX-7, which as I have mentioned before is one of my favorite cars ever, is more aggressive than I normally like.  With a heavily vented carbon fiber grill, huge wing and aggressive bumpers, this FD looks like a race car.  I know these wheels are gunmetal, but they are also gorgeous so it counts.  Also there is no one to argue with me so what I say goes.

  Car is owned by Benjay on rx7club.com, who apparently is a huge Weekend at Bernies fan.

Murdered Out RX-7 FD, LS1 Swap

The RX-7 is one of the best looking cars to come out over the last 20 years.  I'd put it up there with the 911, 350Z and any Aston Martin in terms of cars that are actually, legitimately beautiful.  These cars aren't just cool looking like a Lamborghini or a Hummer because of their breaks from tradition and what they stand for, but are really nice to look at on their own.

This RX-7, which is owned by Rice Hata on RX7club.com looks like what Darth Vader would drive if he gave a shit about style (he didn't, he was more practical, he would drive a Corvette).

Although maybe Vader would rock this RX-7, it is powered by a Corvette LS1 swap.

Murdered Out 2006 Honda Civic Si R Skunk2

Honda was the feature vehicle manufacturer for the 05 SEMA show and one of the best cars on display was this murdered out 2006 Civic SI R by Skunk 2.  The Civic is a sleeper car, no matter how many high horsepower cars there are out there.  A 1,000 hp Civic looks just like a 100 hp Civic, so you'll never know what you're lining up against.  The stealth looks of a flat black Civic Si R work perfectly with the car's sleeper status. 

The 2006 Skunk2 Civic SI R is far from rice.  It has Skunk2 pistons, camshafts, connecting rods, cam gears, forged valves, titanium valve retainers, CNC ported heads, a Hondata ECU, and custom exhaust and intake. Inside the stock Civic SI R seat is replaced with a Racaro/ Braille SPG carbon Kevlar seat. The stance on the 06 Skunk2 SI R comes from their racing springs with Moton shocks combined with Volk wheels. 

click pics for higher res

Like this one? Check out a murdered out Civic Si from the latest tenth-generation bodystyle.

Rockabilly Evolution Murdered Out in Flat Black

Sick Mitsubishi Evolution murdered out with a rockabilly theme.  I love the retro white wall tires and red wheels, but does it work on a car with the racecar angular look like an Evo?

Murdered Out AMS EVO Flat Black

 AMS EVO Murdered out in flat black.  Would obviously be much better looking without all the stickers, but since those sponsors helped them built the car you can't really fault them for advertising.

Murdered Out Nissan 350Z

 Murdered out Nissan 350Z.  I love fully blacked out cars, so this is awesome to me.  The only problem I have with the car is the asymmetrical front bumper.  I wish it had another inlet on the right side or no inlets at all, but that's just me being weird.