Murdered Out Mercedes-Benz CLK DTM Convertible

The Mercedes-Benz CLK DTM is one of the sickest cars ever.  It's a race car for the streets which automatically makes you a badass just for having the balls to drive it.  Juan Pablo Montoya has one.  It has 582-hp and a 200-mph top speed.  If that's not enough, they also built a convertible version, so you have the added badassness of nothing protecting your head when you inevitably flip it.  If you thought it couldn't get any better, someone murdered out their CLK DTM, which makes them my hero.

Murdered Out Mercedes-Benz CLS With Satin Black Paint

The Mercedes-Benz CLS is one of the best looking cars you could buy in the last ten years.  Styling that is both beautiful and groundbreaking is a rarity, normally the cars that start trends like the Bangle BMW 7-Series with flame surfacing have something about them that makes them repugnant, like the ass end of the Bangle BMW 7-Series.  They're usually the automotive equivalent of butterfaces. Or butterbutts.  The CLS is nothing like that.  Pure sex.  It's like when I first saw Tyra Banks in a Victoria's Secret ad and realized black women could be sexy (hey I was like 12 and grew up in a very whitewashed town, I can remember being excited about going to the mall because it meant I'd get to see people with different skin colors besides pale and Italian).

So of course the CLS, the sexiest car around, looks great murdered out in satin black.

I'd still take Tyra Banks from this angle any day.

Murdered Out Flat Black Ferrari F430

I have to confess, for all my love of murdered out cars and their stealthiness and sexiness, I also love bright flashy cars.  It's kind of the yin and yang of  car colors, you need the contrast. A better analogy might be to liken my car color preference to the 1991 Kurt Russel epic Backdraft, where Robert DeNiro's character tells Billy Baldwin's that you need to love the fire a little bit.  You have to appreciate flashiness to really appreciate stealth.

A Hyundai Tiburon never deserves to be bright yellow but a Lamborghini does.  A Kia Rio in red is abhorrent, but a Ferrari in red is appropriate.  That's why when those supercars, which are normally unfortunately used just as bling for rich people looking to show off that they can buy it, rather than that they can use it, are murdered out in flat black like this Ferrari F430, it's such a beautiful thing.

Murdered out FJ Cruiser Video

Absolutely awesome looking FJ Cruiser completely murdered out.  Here's the description from the uploader:

This is a Toyota FJ Cruiser that a few guys at my job just finished. It has a 6" Pro Comp suspension lift with adjustable coil overs and a 1 inch body lift. The tires are 39.5 x 13.50 - 17LT IROCs. I hope you like it. Thanks for watching.

I don't give a shit if this is a total mall crawler and some douche with a chin strap and a flat bill will be using it to cruise for butterfaces on his college campus while skipping classes since he's majoring in entrepreneurship.  It's an FJ Cruiser, a car built to look like one that was utilitarian when it was sold 50 years ago.  It's a total bro car anyway so who cares if it isn't built for maximum articulation.

Rockabilly Chevy S10

I love rockabilly style cars with white wall tires and red wheels for exactly opposite reasons of my love for murdered out cars.  Where a blacked out car is menacing and beautiful, when you decide to go rockabilly style with a car you're saying 'I know this car doesn't look good, so I'll just make it look silly.' It's like Rabbit's rap in 8 mile, you can't make fun of someone if they just did it themselves.

Mazda RX-7 Murdered Out on Gunmetal Wheels

This FD RX-7, which as I have mentioned before is one of my favorite cars ever, is more aggressive than I normally like.  With a heavily vented carbon fiber grill, huge wing and aggressive bumpers, this FD looks like a race car.  I know these wheels are gunmetal, but they are also gorgeous so it counts.  Also there is no one to argue with me so what I say goes.

  Car is owned by Benjay on rx7club.com, who apparently is a huge Weekend at Bernies fan.

Murdered Out RX-7 FD, LS1 Swap

The RX-7 is one of the best looking cars to come out over the last 20 years.  I'd put it up there with the 911, 350Z and any Aston Martin in terms of cars that are actually, legitimately beautiful.  These cars aren't just cool looking like a Lamborghini or a Hummer because of their breaks from tradition and what they stand for, but are really nice to look at on their own.

This RX-7, which is owned by Rice Hata on RX7club.com looks like what Darth Vader would drive if he gave a shit about style (he didn't, he was more practical, he would drive a Corvette).

Although maybe Vader would rock this RX-7, it is powered by a Corvette LS1 swap.