Porsche 911 GT2 996 Murdered Out

The 911 GT2 might be the most badass, hardcore 911 ever.  The GT2 uses the Turbo's engine with rear wheel drive instead of that pussy AWD shit.  Prove you're a real man and put down 475-hp with just the rear wheels.  With an 11.9 second quarter mile time and a 200-mph top speed, not much will outrun the 996 GT2 stock.  And not many people will spot you when you murder out the 911 GT2 in flat black.  Though the yellow brake calipers do kind of give this GT2 away.

Flat Black Lamborghini Murcielago Murdered Out

Batman drives a Lamborghini Murcielago.  That makes it the coolest car ever.  Behind the Batmobile of course.  Nothing is cooler than the Batmobile.  A Flat Black Murcielago murdered out is close.  Even closer when it's got some badass aero that looks like it would probably do wonders on a race course (or racing to Wayne manor before my two supermodel girlfriends sober up and rethink their thoughts on blueberry pies during sex).

E60 BMW M5 Murdered Out Flat Black

The M5 is one of the greatest cars ever.  More comfortable and useful than the M3, but still with the performance to challenge the best sports cars available as competition.  The M5 was also the chariot of choice for Alex Ross when he broke the NY to LA cross country record.

There's something so awesome about a big comfy 4 door sedan that has 500 horsepower, like the E60 M5 does. So the M5 is a badass car, made even more badass by the stealth flat black murdered out look.

The M5 also looks badass in the black and blue paint job, and while the contrast is nice looking I'm still more of a fan of the murdered out look.

Rauh Welt Nissan 240 SX Silvia S15 Murdered Out

It turns out the Rauh Welt, the crazy Porsche builders, actually build other things, like this S15 Silvia shown here in flat black murdered out looking sexy.  I actually think this car looks better than their Porsches, maybe because it's more sedate and seems like they were actually trying to make it look good, rather than just wild.

 

Murdered Out Mercedes-Benz CLK DTM Convertible

The Mercedes-Benz CLK DTM is one of the sickest cars ever.  It's a race car for the streets which automatically makes you a badass just for having the balls to drive it.  Juan Pablo Montoya has one.  It has 582-hp and a 200-mph top speed.  If that's not enough, they also built a convertible version, so you have the added badassness of nothing protecting your head when you inevitably flip it.  If you thought it couldn't get any better, someone murdered out their CLK DTM, which makes them my hero.

Murdered Out Mercedes-Benz CLS With Satin Black Paint

The Mercedes-Benz CLS is one of the best looking cars you could buy in the last ten years.  Styling that is both beautiful and groundbreaking is a rarity, normally the cars that start trends like the Bangle BMW 7-Series with flame surfacing have something about them that makes them repugnant, like the ass end of the Bangle BMW 7-Series.  They're usually the automotive equivalent of butterfaces. Or butterbutts.  The CLS is nothing like that.  Pure sex.  It's like when I first saw Tyra Banks in a Victoria's Secret ad and realized black women could be sexy (hey I was like 12 and grew up in a very whitewashed town, I can remember being excited about going to the mall because it meant I'd get to see people with different skin colors besides pale and Italian).

So of course the CLS, the sexiest car around, looks great murdered out in satin black.

I'd still take Tyra Banks from this angle any day.

Murdered Out Flat Black Ferrari F430

I have to confess, for all my love of murdered out cars and their stealthiness and sexiness, I also love bright flashy cars.  It's kind of the yin and yang of  car colors, you need the contrast. A better analogy might be to liken my car color preference to the 1991 Kurt Russel epic Backdraft, where Robert DeNiro's character tells Billy Baldwin's that you need to love the fire a little bit.  You have to appreciate flashiness to really appreciate stealth.

A Hyundai Tiburon never deserves to be bright yellow but a Lamborghini does.  A Kia Rio in red is abhorrent, but a Ferrari in red is appropriate.  That's why when those supercars, which are normally unfortunately used just as bling for rich people looking to show off that they can buy it, rather than that they can use it, are murdered out in flat black like this Ferrari F430, it's such a beautiful thing.